Monday, July 6, 2009

...was the last post on this blog. I've been so busy with life and work in general that I have not had the time. A lot of water has flown the bridge... Gay sex was made legal in India, Congress stayed in power, Roger Federer completed a career Grand Slam, LTTE was destroyed, GM went bankrupt, MJ died, there were riots in Iran, Honduras and China, North Korea tested many more missiles, swine flu came into existence, Pakistan won the T20 world cup... Phew. A whole flood seems to have passed under the bridge, threatening the bridge's very existence.

These days, I've been feeling terribly guilty. In some ways, I feel like Siddhartha who ventured out on his chariot, only the other way around- from seeing daily drudgery to Utopia. One would expect me to be happy- indeed I am happy at a personal level- but the question of the bigger picture in life haunts me. Maybe the only good thing, indeed, might be the fact that I'm feeling guilty. It means I'll want to do something about it. All our visions are clouded by fogs of selfishness and illusions of self-importance. I'm no exception, but I have realised I have a choice. I am not strong enough to let go of my career, a secure future and a peaceful life and dive in to an uncertainty- that haunts me. But then, it's been haunting me for the last ten odd years, and I've done little about it but continue with my whims and fancies. What will I do about it now? Maybe nothing. Maybe time will tell.