A New Way to Tackle Global Warming

I just thought this up. I think the plan is genius in its simplicity. It's the easiest plan conceivable, not just because it needs no money or effort, but simply because it IS lack of effort. This is my idea in its brilliant glory: Stop dieting, eat a lot, sleep a lot, stay lazy, and grow fat. Still wondering why? Let me elaborate:

1. When you eat more than necessary, you store most of the energy in your body as fat. If you go on a diet, you burn all that fat, and in doing so, introduce unnecessary heat into the atmosphere, which would have otherwise been safely been assimilated into the ground when you died. (remember, the byproducts of fat burning are CO2, water and heat). This, of course, assumes that most of humanity is buried when dead, which is the case anyway.

2. When you're fat, you tend to get lazy, and hence move around lesser. Remember, getting from A to B is one of the biggest supposed sources of global warming.

3. By eating more food (especially meat-eaters) you're killing the cows which are responsible for global warming.

4. When you're fat, you don't live as long, owing to the various health risks associated with obesity. Which means you're contributing lesser carbon dioxide to the atmosphere, and at the same time, help to fix more carbon back to the ground (since you carry more carbon back to the ground when you die- this follows as a corollary of point 1)

5. Fat people offer lesser surface area per kilogram of area from which heat can escape. Think of it this way: one person weighing 100 kg will have lesser skin on him/her than two people weighing 50 kg, which implies lesser heat loss into the atmosphere.

6. This also makes millions of life simpler, gives them hope that obesity can be cool one day. At the very least, they can claim to have helped the planet, if not anyone else, in their lazy good-for-nothing lives. It will also lend an air of credibility to the arguments of middle-aged fat women pouring scorn over their page-3 bulimic anorexic counterparts.

Like I said, the plan is mindbogglingly simple. Easily the greatest idea since Relativity. And what's more, I'm writing it only a few miles away from where Einstein had his epiphany. I'm experiencing one right now. This is it. Any takers?